Leaders, in families, among friends, or at church or temple are all more effective when they are consistent and predictable. Cat burglars and boxers benefit from being unpredictable. Managers, supervisors, leaders, parents and teachers lose ground when people can’t count on their behaviors.
Below are more tools to help you maintain consistency.
I. JOURNAL: A journal is a cool thing. Journaling helps you tell the truth to yourself, if you find that hard. There is a saying about the act of confession, (which is basically what journaling is).
The benefit of the act of confession is not brought by the confessor, but by the act itself.
You can put things down on paper or in your computer that would scare your best friend and no one will ever see it, unless you want them to. If you do keep your journal on a computer I would suggest you password and encrypt it. And, don’t use a work computer or someone else’s. If are still paranoid about it, title your journal, “Fantasy Novel Notes by xxx yyy.”
Are prima donnas wreaking havoc in your organization? Watch John Cameron Nip Problem Behaviors in the Bud !
Many people, therapists, great thinkers, motivational speakers and others say that you should share your deepest darkest thoughts, with at least one other nonjudgmental person or even a judgmental person if this person is a mentor. These experts say that you are as a sick as your secrets. A journal will allow you to see your best and worst thoughts on paper or screen in front of you. Once you see the bad things, they don’t seem as bad and you can put together a plan of action to deal with them. I journal almost every day.
ii.The second thing I do in my journal is to put in a heading, Gratitude. Then I write the following lines
I am grateful for my hands and grateful for my feet
I am grateful that I always have enough good food to eat
I am grateful for my legs and grateful for my heart
I am grateful I can run by the river soon after dark
I am grateful for my eyes and grateful for my ears
I am grateful for music and dance that bring me to tears
Then I come up with more things I am grateful for and put them into rhyme.
J. Laughter. Laughing, smiling or even holding a pencil horizontally in your lips to make them tilt up like a smile, (see Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow) will make you feel better, more optimistic and less fearful. Laughter releases endorphins. In India there are laughter clubs where people simply get together to laugh. When I rent a car I always rent one with satellite radio. Before I leave the parking lot I program in comedy channels. By the time I arrive at my hotel or training or speaking site, the back of my neck hurts from smiling and laughing and I am in great spirits.
Activity Triggers/Action Items
1. Find a way to talk to yourself honestly and often through a journal
2. Put yourself in a place where you experience laugher.