Have you ever gotten out of bed completely down because you had to face something? Maybe you knew that you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation with your boss or coworker. The idea of facing time-wasting, mind-numbing meeting after meeting is just too much. Maybe your spouse is in a horrible mood and taking it out on you. Maybe it was something physical, like lower back pain.
And, it just brought you completely down. When that happens with me, it’s almost always because of distorted thinking. There are many forms of distorted thinking.
The distorted thinking patterns that get me, when I let them, are filtering and polarized or black and white thinking. Filtering is seeing something, usually, through a negative filter and filtering out any positives. Black and white thinking, in my case, is that if something isn’t perfect then everything is BAD.
Example: My back is killing me today. Instead of remembering that I am in superb shape, with great muscular definition, fantastic cardio respiratory fitness, good muscle mass and great strength and power, I focus on nerve pain in my sacrum. Instead of focussing on the fact that I had no back pain for a month and am physiologically at least 10 years younger than my calendar age, I focus on something temporary and capricious-back pain.
So, in leadership and management, and remember we are all leading and managing something, it’s very easy to think that ALL OF YOUR MEETINGS WILL BE MIND- NUMBING WASTES OF TIME. This is black and white thinking. I’ll bet that not even MOST of your meetings are a waste of time. Certainly not all.
Somewhere in one of your meetings there is someone who is fed up with the status quo. There is someone who has an immediate need for mentoring, or you for theirs. There is someone who you will “click” with immediately. There is someone who has the authority and drive to help you lead yourself, your team and your organization to even greater heights.
What kinds of little things are you letting ruin your wonderful life because things aren’t “perfect?” What temporary bad thing have you convinced yourself is permanent? Have that painful conversation with your boss. Once it’s over, it’s over. Know that your spouse’s mood will improve and you don’t have to own it. Just be there for them, just like they are there for you when you have lower back pain. And, so what if it take you fifty hours and thirty painful, boring or inconclusive meetings before you eventually manage to generate the change you, your staff, organization and clients need?
Are prima donnas wreaking havoc in your organization? Watch John Cameron Nip Problem Behaviors in the Bud !
Action Items/Activity Triggers
1. Look up Distorted Thinking.
2. When you are down, go down the list and see if you are letting one or two of these distorted thinking patterns ruin an otherwise wonderful life.
3. Apologize to your co-workers and loved ones for having a few pissy days when you do let something get you down.
4. Forgive yourself. After all, you can’t be perfect. That’s distorted thinking.
5. Hire me, John Cameron, to teach you how to run meetings that give attendees the skills, courage and plan to do what they must do to increase the wealth of their clients their organization and themselves.